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Ingredients for 2 people


  • 200-300g extra lean mince
  • 1 bread slice soaked in milk and crumbled
  • 2 cloves of garlic
  • 150g onion cooked for 3 minutes in the microwave
  • Parsley, salt, pepper, flour, olive oil.

Tomato sauce

  • 1 box of tomato purée with chilli, basil and oregano
  • 1 onion
  • 1 carrot


This is Freesia’s recipe. We’re on our way to a Thanksgiving Party so she is painting patterns above her eyes and decorating her hands with blood-red polish. She’s dictating to me the process…

Tim: OK, tell me what you did…

Freesia: Chop the onions and place in the microwave. Cook on full power for three minutes.

Tim: Microwave?! Are you sure? I don’t think our 2 distinguished foodie followers will appreciate the use of such equipment…

Freesia: It’s quicker in the microwave. Plus, you ginger bastard, it meant I didn’t need to add oil as they cook in their own juices. After you’ve done this…

Freesia starts to grumble as she wrongly applies her make-up..

Freesia: After you’ve done this, dice the bread added milk to create a wet dough. Mix with finely chopped garlic, the mince, herbs and season to taste. Form the balls in your hands using flour to prevent them sticking. Place oil in a pan and heat to a high temperature. Place the balls (this word always makes Tim smile) in the pan and cook only enough to colour them..

Tim: OK, good. Why do we only want to colour them?

Freesia: They will cook fully within the tomato sauce. Next we create the tomato sauce. Chop finely, onion, red pepper, garlic and carrot. Place in an oiled saucepan on a medium hob-heat adding a tin of chopped tomatoes. Add the balls (snigger) once the sauce starts boiling. Cook and stir gently until the balls are cooked.

Then, serve alongside salad or vegetables to your wonderful ginger boyfriend…

Tim: Thank you!